It would appear that a lack of sugar and alcohol has broken my brain! Last week I turned up to a party 24hrs early, this week I text my friend to say “we’ll be setting off in twenty minutes” only to be told “have you got the right person, I’m at work” – two days early for a play date… I need a PA!

This week has seen my waist reduce by an inch and my weight drop by 1lb (body fat no change). I decided after a particularly long week that I would have a glass of wine on Saturday night. My husband and I are sometimes like ships that pass in the night, especially if he’s working away. It got to the weekend and I was in a foul mood at the thought of another night sat ‘chilling’ with a glass of water! “I’m 37 years old, if I want a glass of wine after a long week, I will!” Is that a defeatist attitude? In my book, no, I’ve spent much of the past 4 years sober (babies, babies, babies) and the past three weeks have taught me that my previous theory of everything in moderation works for me. Does that mean that I have no willpower? No. It’s been a week where I have seen friends of a similar age fight for their lives and over the past few months my take on things has become very much ‘you never know what’s around the corner.’ So, I had two small glasses of wine – and enjoyed them! The effects….. I can tell I haven’t drank for 3 weeks (that actually doesn’t sound that long really does it?!), I felt rough as a dog the next day and felt pretty miserable. Again, as per the one sugar incident last week it taught me that although I may not feel overly different, my body definitely does. It just goes to show how quickly our bodies get used to something.

This past week has very much been me re-setting boundaries and breaking habits. I’m back on track with thinking before I eat and meal planning is definitely helping with that. A big thanks to Natural Nutrients for the sample pack they sent me. If I don’t have time for a healthy breakfast I have a clean protein shake and either some nuts or an avocado. Quick and filling. Result! I am trying to eat breakfast as opposed to have a protein shake as I want the kids to see breakfast as a healthy meal that starts the day. I did find the time to make paleo banana pancakes one morning which were a hit but they take time to make. My kids can devour about 4 each with blueberries and strawberries so I maybe need to make a batch and just reheat. Imagine hungry lions growling for food, thats my kids!

The ultimate mealtime test was when I made a paleo dessert. A Hemsley and Hemsley sugar free chocolate mousse made from avocado and banana was a winner with the kids. The husband was a different matter, his face told a different story to what he actually said! It does need a bit of tweaking to get it right but as it was the first time I had made it and everyone ate it, I was pretty pleased. I’m back to enjoying cooking, the freezer is nicely stocking up with homemade soups and meals ready for those days when I either don’t have the time or just can’t be bothered. I think that’s an excellent achievement for a busy mum of three who gets through most days not knowing her own name or what day of the week it is! (that is in addition to turning up for things days in advance!)

My major bug bare was the amount of hidden sugar in things. You can easily consume way over and above the recommended daily limit at breakfast time and that’s what I wanted to get past. I used to cook everything from scratch, make my own soups and stocks and that way if I ate cake or drank wine, I knew vaguely how much sugar i’d had and I wasn’t addicted to the stuff! By reverting back to my old habits of cooking from scratch it leaves me room to allow for the occasional hiccup but I’m hoping that I can get back to where I was. I also need to remember that we are a young family and that sometimes something has to give!

I think the way forward for me personally, is the moderation approach. If I know I can have it, I’m much more inclined not to. It’s psychological. I was offered biscuits / cake / chocolate on at least four separate occasions last week and each time declined. I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t particularly want it, so I didn’t. It would have been easy to have it because I know I like it but that’s where it gets dangerous! I recognise old habits die hard.

I have quite a few social occasions coming up over the next few weeks as it’s my birthday soon, I have a night in with the girls planned and also a trip home to East Yorkshire to stay with my mum and see family. These will inevitably involve cake (my three year old swears I have asked for a Spiderman cake, and a Minions one and some marshmallows!) and wine. I kind of feel that now I’m back at a point where I recognise a treat as a treat and my overall diet isn’t that far removed from where it was a few years ago when I was at the peak of my health, I’m not overly concerned about allowing myself to have the things that I was trying to quit. My blog is called “2017 – the path being back to me” for a reason, and there is still some way to go but when I look at how my train of thought has changed over the past few weeks, that really is progress. It was a lack of focus (and time) that led to things slipping, and in turn these became habits, habits need to be broken and that’s what I have done. I know that it will be very easy to slip again though so I need to keep on track. My once meticulous brain that worked to lists, being on time and was more organised than a military procedure, is mostly a mush of mayhem but I am determined that will change this year for both my mental and physical well being, and that of my family and so far I think I’m off to a good start.

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